Has it ever been ‘one of those weeks?’ Dog’s barking, phone’s ringing, one kid’s crying, one kid’s screaming? (Gold star if you catch this reference.) We’ve all been there and honestly, at the time of this writing, that is exactly where I’m at too. Everyone but my husband caught the flu, which we got from my mom, family pictures had to be canceled, we missed visiting with out-of-state family members, and on my way to take the baby to the doctor I fell and sprained an ankle. It has been a week. As a matter of fact, I have informed my husband that I am done with this week and to let me know when we can begin the next.
But, it doesn’t work that way, does it? There will always be challenges, and when you think you just can’t take any more difficulties throughout your day, you sprain that proverbial ankle. It’s just more than you can take. Motherhood is filled with things that constantly push you, challenge you, and make you want to leave the week behind and start fresh the next Monday morning.
Maybe you have a toddler who gets upset when you won’t let her have the whole box of cheerios, or have a husband who’s gone for large chunks of time. Maybe you’ve overcommitted yourself and are now stuck with way too many things on your weekly schedule and you’re struggling just to get your daily tasks accomplished. All while seeing whats-her-name on instagram killing it with more on her plate than you could ever dream of doing and you just don’t know how she’s getting it all done.
You are not alone. Being a mom is hard. Sometimes living your life is hard.
As a mom, you’re being forced to do all of these new things all the time. When you have a baby, (or at least in my experience) you have to teach this baby how to do everything. The only thing that baby knows how to do is how to suck. Not how to eat, mind you, just suck. These helpless babes can’t even sleep on their own yet. You teach her to drink milk, teach her to sleep, then eat food, crawl, walk, talk, and the list goes on. All of that happens in the first year, all on less sleep than you ever thought possible.
You’re being stretched, now having to balance doing all the things you used to do while taking care of someone else’s problems. Teaching manners, wiping noses (and other things), showing kindness, correcting behavior, kissing boo-boos, making dinner, folding laundry, cleaning up spills, all while appearing as though you have it all together. There is always something to do, and someone who needs something from you.
It can feel overwhelming.
But maybe that’s the point.
No other time in my life have I been so aware of my need for my Heavenly Father than since I became a mother. Daily I am reminded that I cannot do anything on my own, but need God to help me be more patient, show me how to be kind, or just give me the strength to get through my day. When I forget to cry out to Jesus, or get too busy that stopping to pray feels like time not well spent, my day comes crashing down. I get angry, impatient, and snappy. I am reminded that participating in the means of grace not only brings me closer to my family, but closer to my God.
What are the means of grace?
I’ve just recently finished the book Holiness by JC Ryle with the wonderful ladies at https://sheologians.com/ , and it has transformed the way I live my life. This book, written by a man in the 1800s, has taught me more about how to be a godly mother than most of the flowery devotional books and Christian women’s podcasts out there today. Specifically, he talks about participating in the means of grace, namely Bible reading, private prayer, and the regular worship of God in church, where you hear the Word taught and participate in the Lord’s Supper.
In plain terms, the public means of grace are like the practical working out of your salvation in Jesus Christ. These things listed above please the Lord, and make you more like Jesus.
I’ll briefly mention each of these things as I practice them in my own life, and would strongly encourage you to pick up a copy of JC Ryle’s book, Holiness.
Bible Reading
In order to know who God is, you must actually read your Bible. Seeing someone else highlight a Bible verse on Instagram doesn’t count. Listening to a Christian podcast doesn’t count. Reading a Christian book or listening to a sermon from a pastor you trust doesn’t count. You need to be reading your Bible every day. I know that this is sometimes a controversial point, and in certain seasons it is not possible to sit and read your Bible every day. During those days, pop your headphones in and listen to it if you need to. These are God’s Words to His people, and you need to soak them in every day.
Private Prayer
Similarly, private prayer is the way we talk to God. All prayer is important, but if the only time you’re praying is at mealtimes or at the end of the day with your children, something is wrong. Prayer is not just a disciple to foster in your children, but a lifeline to our Father in Heaven. If you have trouble praying or don’t know what to pray about, just remember the acronym ACTS. Adoration- tell God what you love about Him, Confession- confess with your mouth, agree with God. Thanksgiving- thank Him for all the things He is doing in your life. Supplication- cast your burdens on His broad shoulders, ask for help for yourself and others.
Regular worship of God in a corporate setting and hearing the Word preached
We were made to live in community with one another. By faithfully attending a Bible believing and preaching church, we grow closer to our brothers and sisters in Christ. We enjoy the church as God designed her to be, loving one another and spurring one another on to good works. We gather to worship God through prayer, song, hearing the work preached, and partaking of the Lord’s Supper. Going to church (a good church) is a chance to be in fellowship with each other, and where I personally receive much of my encouragement from older and wiser believers. When I’ve had a rough week, women stop to pray with me, encourage me, or to simply hold my baby while I use the bathroom! Community is God’s design for His people, and without regular worship we can quickly become focused on ourselves and our own problems.
So, yes, motherhood is hard. Life can be hard! But hard is not the same thing as bad. God gives us blessings, as well as challenges, to make us more holy, more loving, and more like His Son Jesus.
“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle,[c] encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. 15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:14-18
